Our neighbors’ eleven-year-old daughter has cancer. I was going to say that I don’t know how they can handle it, but I know better. You do, because you must. You take it one step at a time, any way you can, because that’s what you do.
I recently came across an interview between Jordan B. Peterson and his daughter about his recent recovery from benzodiazepines and how he became dependent in the first place. It’s really a frightening story when you realize this was someone who stood to legitimately benefit from a drug prescribed by his doctor, but it went on a little too long until it was almost too late. It may still be. Life came at him hard, and what was supposed to help just made it exponentially harder.
In both cases there are support systems in place. Our neighbors have family and friends within range to help. They have us–we’ve been cultivating a relationship for years. They know we can and will gladly do anything within our power to make this easier on them. Peterson had a daughter and son-in-law willing to go to incredible lengths to get him help, who quite literally saved his life.
No one wants to need help. But that’s the problem with self-sufficiency. Everyone has their breaking point, where you just can’t cope any more, when doing the most basic of tasks seems pointless. It’s important to have friends, to have that network who care enough to step in and take care of whatever can be reasonably delegated so that you can focus on what’s most important, what only you can do.
No one wants to be a burden on others. On the other hand, people love to feel useful, to be needed, especially by those they care about. I was thrilled today when my neighbor approached me about taking care of something for them over the next couple of days while they’re seeing to their daughter. We have a chance to show them we care and how much they mean to us as neighbors.
This is the reason why I’ve always insisted that self-reliance does not mean becoming a hermit. Some of the greatest satisfaction in life comes from being useful in some way to others. I believe everyone has something to give that at the right time would mean the world to someone. It’s not where the rubber meets the road, but where people meet people that magic happens.