Frugality, financial compatibility, and the silver lining of unemployment

One of the smartest financial decisions I ever made was marrying my wife. I’m a reasonably frugal guy, but she is great at it. I think it comes from living in Estonia under the Soviet Union for awhile. They didn’t have much, so everyone got used to getting by on very little. As a result she’s never been one to spend extravagantly.

When we got married I wasn’t making much money. It seemed like a lot at first because it was the first time I’d ever been on salary instead of wages, so thinking “lump-sum” made it sound so much greater than it really was. At any rate, when we got married things were a bit tight. We’d just barely squeaked our way into a home loan to buy my brother’s house, and it seemed like we were one major appliance failure away from financial ruin. Yet because we were frugal we got by, and even absorbed a few lesser financial problems.

In time, however, my income started rising. And that’s where my wife really helped out. My first instinct was to increase our budget to match our increased income. We could afford to live a little better now, I figured. But she was firm, insisting that we instead put that money into savings. I grudgingly went along with it at first, but after awhile I got a bit excited to see how much we were putting away and how we could endure minor setbacks more easily.

That became the pattern for the ten years we’ve been together. My income continued to rise, and as we were having kids, our expenses rose, too. But because of our frugality our expenses did not keep pace with my income. We were spending more money, but we were saving more, too.

Am I ever grateful for that savings now–and that frugality. I lost my job nine months ago, and though unemployment insurance helps, we still rely on our savings quite a bit. Our savings has been holding up amazingly well. That’s partly because we were saving so much, but it’s also because we know how to be frugal. The minute I knew my job was going away we went into “bare minimum” mode and were able to cut our budget by about a third. That really helps the savings go farther.

Eventually I will find work again, and then we’ll see the silver lining. Unemployment has helped us identify and eliminate some of the fat from our budget. When my income goes back up again it will be much easier to simply say “no” to letting our budget increase again rather than having to look for ways to cut back once we’ve gotten used to spending more. We can move forward with a much more efficient budget and with any luck rebuild our savings that much faster.

Of course first I have to find work, so our savings may continue to take a hit for awhile, but it’s comforting to know that I’ve got such a strong partner in my wife. It’s a big relief knowing that she’s working just as hard or harder to keep our expenses down right now. We’re under enough strain right now without having to clash over money as well.

Being married to someone I’m financially compatible with is a true blessing.

Introduction to Simple Self-Reliance

Last year I became a grim statistic; one of the one in ten people who can’t find work. The past nine months have revealed both good and bad. The good is that my family and I have been above average in our self-reliance. We had money put away for emergencies such as this. We were able to cut back on our budget considerably. We are able to make do, do without, or make it ourselves in quite a few areas.

But I’ve also realized that we could do more. I have nothing against my mechanic, but it costs me $30 to have him change my oil–something I’m pretty sure I could do myself with a little study and practice. I’m still having professionals come and fertilize my lawn and spray my trees. I’m still paying $30-40 for tax software, even though I’m pretty sure there are cheaper alternatives.

Or perhaps I’m just not thinking creatively enough. Is there some skill I possess that I could use to barter with someone else who has the skills I lack? Could I have my friend the out-of-work accountant do my taxes in exchange for my setting up a website for his wife’s day care?

The more I think about it the more I realize that there is much more I could do to become even more self-reliant if I put my mind to it. Could the drive for self-reliance become a harmful obsession? Of course it could. But I don’t think I’m there yet. The key, I think, is to determine which areas are the most beneficial and focus on those first, then apply whatever time you have to lesser gains.

For example, is it really worth my time to figure out how to save $20 on an oil change every three months if I could instead figure out how to save $150 on lawn fertilizer each year? Perhaps not. Why waste time trying to save two cents more on a tube of toothpaste that runs out once a month if there are ways to save two cents per roll of toilet paper that I replace every few days? There’s self-reliance, and then there’s psychosis.

So hopefully this blog will prove to be both useful and sensible. I’m not advocating we all move to the back woods and build our own compound with our bare hands and prepare ourselves for doomsday. But if I can figure out how to keep at least a week’s worth of food on hand just in case severe weather causes the store shelves to empty for a few days or a new pandemic forces a quarantine, wouldn’t that be a worthwhile pursuit? I think so.

And that’s why I want to do this blog.